iPhone Savior: Apple Newton: Dead, But Still Not Buried

Some Apple innovations may be long discontinued but they are never truly forgotten. It was February 27, 1998 when Apple announced the death of their Newton MessagePad series. On this tenth anniversary of Newton's untimely demise, the iPhone Savior has lovingly commissioned a special commemorative cake to honor a small group of loyal Newtonists who continue to carry the glorious Newton flag waving high above their fossil like craniums. Unfortunately they won't get to enjoy any of the cake that was actually supposed to read "Happy Deadday" but that never happened. We also invited music fossil Randy Newman to pen a tired Newton song for our special memorial, but he declined.

"A lot of guys love their Newton like a puppy dog and just can't let it die," said Vern Tenkle who owns a few Newton devices and an iPhone, "I'm not sure what all the fuss is about, the Newton is dinosaur technology, let it become extinct in peace already. Someone suggested trying euthanasia, but I can't imagine why any Asian kids would want these things."

According to Tenkle, Apple's Newton message pad will always be remembered as an epic failure that was born way ahead of it's time and ultimately lumped in with another wildly popular Apple failure, the G4 Cube. An Apple device that's become the shell of it's former self, living out the remainder of it's days as a humble aquarium. We can only wish the same dignified future for the Newton. Here's to you Newt, a neanderthal, wannabe iPhone with a stylus pen limp.

"It's not only merely dead, it's really most sincerely dead." Coroner of Munchkinland