It didn't take long for 'death watch' Dan Lyons (the former Fake Steve Jobs) to launch back into what's becoming trademark bomb lobbing at both Apple and CEO Steve Jobs from behind the padded walls of Noobweek after the close of Apple's "Let's Rock" iPod media mash-up on Tuesday.
In a post entitled, "Apple: Still no spaceship or flying car" link, Lyons begins his tactical assault by accusing Apple of filling the "Let's Rock" event with its own employees as shills, instructed to act as product cheerleaders by being the loudest clappers in the room.
"There was much cheering and shouting and clapping and whooping, even though much of it came from Apple employees who had been instructed to remove their green event T-shirts so they’d look like regular members of the public," said Lyons, "I’m not making that up. Friends, it’s true — Apple brings along its own employees and has them cheer like mad for their own products." Real Dan Lyons
The grand finale of Apple scuds launched by Lyons were overtly aimed at the health of Steve Jobs, if you haven't already guessed. Dan seems sincerely disappointed that Jobs appeared healthy on stage at Tuesday's event, so he went straight for the kill as a lone gunman in his closing paragraph. He killed off Fake Steve and now he's obsessed with stalking the real one.
"Dear Leader, while definitely still alive, nonetheless looks frail," Lyons said, It’s hard to describe this but there’s something not quite right about the way Dear Leader walks. I thought maybe I was imagining this but another hack said he thought the same thing. But Dear Leader is making an effort to let everyone know that he’s doing just fine, thank you. So, um, all right. Game on, people." Real Dan Lyons
Drive-by Apple bashing in the press draws attention. It's an obvious slight of hand trick used by a guy who spent over a year satirically lambasting the same frigtards he has now morphed himself into by design. Dan knows what sells. Here's a fresh idea Dan, get back to being funny! That's what really sells. Stop wasting energy harping on that one sour Apple note. Steve Jobs looks frail, bla, bla, bla! It's been done broseph, move on.
Maybe the Real Dan Lyons is secretly fantasizing that he can off Jobs himself one bland, conspicuous, unfunny blog post at a time. That just might work, because its killing me.
[Lyons - One Bad Apple]
that is so spot on. I still it is an unrequited man-crush.
Posted by: Dizzle | September 10, 2008 at 05:01 PM