The film "Zack and Miri Make A Porno", written and directed by Kevin Smith, was little more than a Clerks II clone minus the donkey, even though Seth Rogen reprized the jackass role with daft skill. Smith has delivered up a limp fiasco that replaces his once clever humor with cheap and vulgar slapstick. If you can't write inspired comedy simply crap all over someone's face and call it frosting like Kevin Smith did.
This film hit the first of many low points with a garish cameo by none other than "I'm a Mac" guy Justin Long, playing the role of a gay porn star at Zack and Miri's high school reunion. I'm not sure why Long spoke in an awkward husky tone that made him sound more like a cheesy caricature of a vampire. Did he sell out with this cameo or do they call that buying in?
Listening to Apple's beloved Mac pitchman describing sexually explicit acts of gayness made me wish I had opted in for a proper fisting watching "High School Musical 3" instead. Especially when Kevin Smith chose to tarnish the Apple brand by featuring a classic MacBook being pounded on by Zack to make the screen work. Hitting should only be reserved for a PC never a Mac, ever!
I never once swallowed the fact that Justin Long was gay or funny no matter how hard he tried to be, but I did end up hating myself in the morning for spending the night with this film. After being hosed down, probed and vigorously scrubbed by a Hazmat team several times, I still feel dirty.
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