Pictured above MacWorld 1984 premier with January 2009 issue
Apple confirmed on Tuesday that Steve Jobs will not be delivering his highly anticipated keynote speech that traditionally opens the MacWorld Conference in San Francisco each year. The sudden keynote exit by Jobs has been attributed to politics rather than Jobs' health according to a report by CNBC's Jim Goldman.
The MacWorld 2009 keynote is expected to be delivered by none other than the wildly charismatic Phil Schiller, Apple's Senior VP of worldwide product marketing. News that's certain to trigger widespread panic and eventual event cancellations by some.
Apple fanboys who booked their tickets and locked in their hotel reservations for the big show weeks earlier wept out loud today after hearing the devastating news according to one bystander. Many Apple loyalists expressed a strong desire to cancel their own MacWorld participation in favor of brooding all Emo-like using only candles to light up their lives. Some have even threatened slumping over into a mild depression until early spring.
"I'm gonna go straight home after work and bite my pillow," said graphic designer Kip Pippin who's attended the MacWorld Conference for the past five years. "It hurts me deeply to see Steve treat his faithful ones like this. It's a sad, ugly day for me and truly the end of an era. The legendary Joan Jet best expresses my feelings towards Apple at this moment; "I hate myself for loving you!"
Making the Jobsian news even more horrific, was Apple's shocking announcement that this will be the last year it participates in the MacWorld event. The company cited the future pullout as a careful use of marketing dollars during the global economic turndown. When translated from proper business-speak into plain english means, blow me!
"As we scale back on trade shows, we have ramped up standalone launch events, which have been seen by millions on the Internet," Apple spokesman Steve Dowling said. "We will continue to do those as regularly as we have in past." Source: CNN Money
A toll free support hotline has been set up for mourners and fanboys to call for empathetic care or just to purchase more Apple products, which often helps ease my own depression. Staff are standing by to take orders, offer advice or to chat about a possible MacMini refresh or even the possibility of finally seeing a Mac netbook offering next year. Call 1-800-MY-APPLE
What's next for Apple? Asks MacWorld on the cover of their January 2009 issue. No Steve Jobs keynote and no Apple in 2010. That's what! I bet they never expected that expo preview.