SEATTLE - Inspired by the ultra-nerds at RBC Capital and ChangeWave Research, our team decided to conduct our own useless "iPhone vs. Pre" satisfaction survey which revealed that 99% of some 200 iPhone soap users are "satisfied" with their their purchase of handmade, Macintosh apple scented body soap. Of that number, 82 percent indicated they were “wildly satisfied” with iPhone's creamy lather and touch sensitive moisturizers.
Similar to ChangeWave's poll, the ridiculously small sampling of iPhone soap users surveyed pales in comparison to the 40 Pre soap owners involved in our scientific research. About 87 percent of all 40 soaped up Pretards said they were “satisfied,” while a pathetic 45 percent said they were “very satisfied.”
Though a large percentage of Pre respondents complained they still felt dirty after taking long hot showers using the bourbon and Coke scented Palm Pre soap.
"I smelled like a cheap booze whore after every shower," Betty Drilzzer said about her soap, "The Palm Pre was packaged up all pretty but it was painfully disappointing after opening. It really does stink something awful."
In sharp contrast, many iPhone soap users expressed great satisfaction with the dozens of iPhone soap scents offered including; Strawberries and Campaign, sweet Apple Strudel and the popular Pizza scent.
We should also reveal that many of those soapy Premies who participated, admitted to being highly intoxicated during our survey which may have skewed the results. In addition, half of that group showed up days later on our Offender Locator app as registered sex offenders. Leaving us all feeling a bit dirty.
And here I thought it was going to be a nice clean story.
Posted by: Neil Anderson | August 16, 2009 at 07:06 AM