This week we've decided to turn our whimsical gaze towards five new iPhone apps that should have been smothered at birth. While our crack review team traditionally focus on reviewing apps that represent the best in show for our readers, we took some inspiration from Krapps.com to present you with this dysfunctional family of iPhone misfits that should be sold with a proper warning label.
Butterfly Tattoos ($1.99) provides potential victims with 25 "Butterfly Tattoo" designs certain to make tattoo icon Kat Von D hork up her t-bone steak. Save these beautiful butterfly photos to your album or email a favorite design to your friends. Instantly confirming what they've all known for years, you're a looney hippy chic nursing an ugly art disorder.
Angelizer - Play With Angels ($1.99) picks up where the butterfly app zombies left off. This iPhone gem claims to "bring out the angel in you" by providing a heavenly amount of angel wings that you can add to any photo. Angelize your family, pets, yourself or even your pastrami sandwich. A more appropriate name for this classic brain melter would have been lobotomizer.
ClapClock Fiesta ($1.99) has packed two overplayed iPhone ideas into one. It's a clock and a flashlight! The flashlight portion can be turned on and off by clapping, shining a bright iPhone light on the one moron in the room who actually paid money for this app disaster. Clap on and then clap off another two bucks pissed away badly. Let the fiesta begin!
Random Tweet - Twitter Fun ($.99) raises a time wasting social disorder to a whole new level. Instead of focusing on your own constant stream of forgettable Twitter chatter, Random Tweet will uncover more of the same ramblings from around the Twitterverse. Type in a search term and this app will start spinning to ultimately reveal dozens of topical tweets that will turn your brain into sticky goo. Random Tweet is a lethal Twitter themed Russian roulette app for retards.
A Virus Protection Mask ($.99) is the final app-tastic nightmare featured in our horrific hall of shame. The idea here is simple... protect your iPhone from Swine Flu. You heard it here first! VPM makes your iPhone look like it's covered with a virtual medical mask even in standby mode. If you're workmates are not already convinced you're a total douche-nozzle, this Virus Protection Mask app will definitely seal the deal. You can choose from twelve different colors to ensure instant public humiliation.
If you believe that negative press is better than getting no press at all, I would expect this doofus parade of app reviews to make five developers as giddy as school girls. So proceed to download these mishaps onto your iPhone at your own risk. But don't say you weren't properly warned.
This is the funniest thing I've read in awhile... Thanks!
Posted by: amiram | October 02, 2009 at 12:24 AM