iPhone Savior: Apple Faithful Prepare To Praise Their Savior

One thing that many analysts have overlooked in their predictions for the 2008 Macworld Expo is a rousing standing ovation from the adoring throngs of Apple-philes when Steve Jobs makes his triumphant return to the Macworld stage for his traditional keynote address. An address that provides the inertia for the five day conference and expo. No one is expecting to take pause at the beginning of the event that will suddenly appear more like the close, as the crowd rise to their feet in adoration with many followers displaying tears of joy.

With the overwhelming success of the iPhone both in the U.S. and abroad, many Apple faithful will seize Macworlds opening moments to heap gargantuan adulation on Jobs who has become a god-like persona in their eyes, for thousands since the launch of the iPhone. The Macworld Expo will be the first public opportunity for true Jesus Phone worshipers to heap praise on Jobs in a way that is befitting of their savior. Especially since the iPhone was named both Time Magazine's invention of the year and gadget of the year for 2007. Another significant hallmark worthy of veneration for Jobs is the fact that Apple's stock has more than doubled since last year most recently reaching an all time high of over $200 per share (AAPL), clear confirmation of Jobs' power to raise Apple from the dead.

"I know I'm gonna burst out crying when Steve Jobs enters the spotlight," said Cabby Rigby, a San Francisco based graphic designer who has attended the Macworld Expo for the past five years " It's been an emotional roller coaster for me since the iPhone launched. I feel so much genuine man love for Steve, in a good way though. I won't be able to hold back the tears standing on my feet cheering with thousands of others." That kind of emotionally charged commitment to the Apple brand is in no way uncommon, to the contrary it has become a frightening part of the norm. The only thing missing from Jobs' grand entrance will be thousands of worshipers waving palm leaves as he rides to the stage seated on a donkey.

A standing ovation for Jobs will serve to confirm that his loyal followers are fixed firmly behind his leadership, regardless of what news he may announce next for Apple. Any memory of slow sales for Apple TV, an iPhone price cut or the iPhone bricking fiasco will quickly fade away once the lights dim. The applause will also act as a conduit of sorts helping to expel the crowds immense nervous energy and anticipation, which will extend to Jobs an added boost of verve as he methodically weaves his way towards announcing the now memorable "one more thing" as he's done before. Any non-belivers in attendance will be instantly converted, convinced that Steve Jobs is truly God of the new Apple, Inc. A mega-popular global corporate icon that has left many languishing for "the good old days" when Apple was that little company that could. With Jobs returning to the helm they not only could, they did! Delivering consistent innovation in grand style since the first iMac was released in August of 1998. That event signaled the start of an utter i-revolution across the globe, sending the message that Apple is a major force to be reckoned with. (link)

"I think Time Magazine should have named Steve Jobs 'Person of The Year', it would have been the triple crown for Apple," said Cabby Rigby, "Jobs is a much better pick than Vladimir Puke-in any day. Steve is a deity of modern technology. What's Puke-in done for technology? Nothing! He doesn't even dress cool or live in the U.S., plus mister fancy Russian boy stole that Super Bowl ring." (link)

Speculation on exactly what Steve Jobs will announce at Macworld next month on January 15th has captured the imagination of the mainstream media as both Bloomberg and CNN have weighed in with their own predictions and rumors of an ultra-portable Mac along with a 16GB iPhone. Several other side show pundits have attempted to do the same vying for headlines. Even FOX tried to steal a bit of Jobs' thunder leaking an iTunes movie rental download deal well ahead of Macworld, a glitch that Jobs will shrug off without blinking. I believe that a stirring standing ovation when Jobs arrives to the Macworld stage is more than a real possibility, it's inevitable. No one has wasted any time speculating if Apple staffers will be handing out loaves and fishes during Jobs' keynote address, since everyone knows that would be going way over-the-top with the Jesus-Jobs comparisons. Or would it be? It's a Mac, Mac world we're living in, a one world religion no one saw coming.

Macworld Expo 2008 (link) Macworld News (link) NY Times (link)