iPhone Savior: HP CTO Cuts His Own Birthday Cake Using New MacBook Air

CALGARY, ALBERTA - When I heard reports that Rahul Sood, CTO of HP's gaming division used the pure genius and thinnovation of Apple's MacBook Air as a knife to cut his birthday cake, I threw up in my mouth. After I saw the photos and found out that the MacBook contained a solid state drive, I threw up in my friend's mouth. Did Rahul just turn thirteen or was it twelve?

It was a cruel joke when Sood openly desecrated the sleek beauty of MacBook Air wearing a faux HP tee shirt and then waggishly blogged about it. He should be tied to the flagpole in front of the HP corporate offices and whipped with iPod Nanos after spending a mandatory weekend at Neverland Ranch dressed as a Cub Scout. [CAUTION: more graphic images]

"So before this thing spreads, I thought I'd explain myself: It was a combination of some fantastic wine, constant ribbing from my friends, and a hand rolled cigar that did this." said Rahul Sood on his blog.

Wrong! It's a tool that did this instead of using the proper tool.

I'm appalled by a fellow cigar aficionado performing such a profound display of ass clownery on Canadian soil while a house full of Rahul groupies stood by laughing out loud because they had to. Next thing you know, ass clowns everywhere will start using iPhone as a beer coaster. Oops! They already did. Wait until El Jobso hears about this one. It could further delay Apple's 3G iPhone launch for Canada. This is all so disgusterous.