iPhone Savior: Man Hides Cell Phone In Anus To Elude Police And Avoid Roaming Charges

CINCINNATI, OHIO - Ace crime stalkers at The Smoking Gun have confirmed that a 41 year old Ohio man was nabbed by police for allegedly using his cell phone to peep free nudey picts of a 35 year old woman attempting to avoid tan lines by performing her fake-n-bake in the nude at Cincinnati's Aloha Tanning.

When confronted by police the man apparently denied any involvement in the incident insisting that he did not have a camera on him. A second search by police verified the man's claim of having no camera on him, because it was in him, as noted in a Hamilton County Sheriff's Office report. Merv the perv allegedly managed to rocket his cell phone up into his anus at breathtaking speeds in a daring attempt to fool police. This is what happens to peepers when push comes to shove. I'm relieved that this guy was not a cult of iPhone follower.

The man was freed on $1,500 bond while investigators tried to determine which brand of cell phone would have to be booked into evidence as a piece of crap. I could make a few educated guesses myself. It's wildly rumored that officers handed the butt-phone back to the perp so he could make his one phone call. That's unconfirmed. This is a great place to drop an "exit only" joke.

[Smoking Gun via Gizmodo]