iPhone Savior

iPhone Jenga Game Adds Brand New Meaning To Dumb & Dumber

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA - Created by two regular guys named Sean & Faruk, iPhone Jenga is a must have game that no fun-loving iPhone fanatic should be without. iPhone Jenga quickly becomes the life of every party and it's an ideal way to make the most of your Apple paper weight with family or friends who got boned paying full price for their original iPhone, just like you.

Don't sit around web surfing at miserable speeds when you can stack 'em, pull 'em and watch 'em fall. Play iPhone Jenga as an effective icebreaker at A.A. Meetings or while waiting in massive lines on the July 11th launch of iPhone 3G. Get ready for some real "edge-of-your-seat" fun! Because the winner takes all in iPhone Jenga!

WARNING: iPhone Jenga is intended for adults 18 and over brain washed into buying a new iPhone 3G model. Must have an original iPhone to play. This game is not affiliated with iPhone bowling, iPhone hockey, Frisbee or iPhone street luge.

Photo by Dustin Diaz

iPhone 3G Could Be Activated At Home and Cost Full Price For Ineligible Neanderthals

AT&T is slowly releasing details on how their upgrading plan works, closely resembling a lethal injection used on death row inmates. Their methods allow the brains of faithful iPhone 3G prisoners to go numb first. Gizmodo is reporting that people who are ineligible for upgrades will have to pay the full, unsubsidized price for their new iPhone. What? How much will that be? [here] Kill me now Warden!

AppleInsider is reporting that they snagged an internal AT&T memo that offers new activation details as well hinting at a 30 day time limit to activate your iPhone through iTunes or suffer penalties similar to lethal injection or death by unreasonable fees. I have provided links to both articles since they've done a stellar job at laying out the confusing facts about iPhone 3G activation.

I myself will stay focused on the whole prison, death and dying part of participating in the iPhone 3G launch. This is exactly why jail breaking started. Can somebody grab that bar of soap please.

via Gizmodo     via AppleInsider     Two-Year Pricing

Say Hello To The Sony PSP iPhone 3G, I Wish

No matter how cool the iPhone has become there's always someone living outside the cult who insists on re-imagining iPhone neatly integrated into something so much more, in this case it's a Sony PSP meets iPhone 3G.

The iWish smartphone is a cleanly designed look into the unlikely future of iPhone 3G gaming with the obvious hideaway keypad. Hint, hint! It never hurts to dream in Photoshop. Somebody has to!

Earth to Apple, it's hand held gaming calling. I wish!

via Planet Mat

Fake Jerry Yang Starts Guest Blogging Rant For Fake Steve Jobs?

It appears that Yahoo's Jerry Wang has taken over The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs adding Yangs name and photo to the banner [here] while faithful Apple-tards anxiously await the return of Bono. Yang has posted a rather lengthy lament, bearing his soul about all things Yahoo, an unlikely guest blogger called to fill in the gaps for the great fake one. At least Yang realizes that blogging is therapy as he fires back at Carl Icahn and NY Times writer Joe Nocera currently serving up roasted Yang for dinner.

Money quote; "As for me and my performance as a CEO, what can I say? Just because I started a company doesn't mean I know how to run one."  Jerry Yang - FSJ

Near the end of his post the Jermeister starts to aimlessly meander down a weird 3G iPhone path which reads like some kind of unfunny weed-huffing stoner ramblings. Well that's Jerry for ya. I mean Jerry Garcia. Is Hillary Clintstone the next guest in line?

"Hi, I'm Jerry, and I'll be your waiter tonight."

New York Times Knifes Jerry Yang    Carl Icahn's Pee Smell

 

Fake Steve Jobs To Become Fake Steve Levy For Real Salary At Noobweek

Apparently one Steven Levy is not enough, so Newsweek decided to replace him with a fake Steven Levy since the real Steven Levy left to bring his award winning technology writing to Wired full time. Isn't Wired lucky? Steven Levy was the ultra-noob who lost his new MacBook Air blaming his wife's housekeeping for the mindless fiasco back in March.

Daniel Lyons or the infamous Fake Steve Jobs (as he's known to the short busers) has accepted the vacant fetal position at Noobweek taking over for Levy as the resident technologist with bad glasses. It's a perfect fake fit. Forbes took a great thing for granted in Lyons and will now suffer immeasurably without him because it's always about the money. Right Dan?

Fake Steve has announced he's taking some time off from his Secret Diary of Steve Jobs blog for the summer with fake guest bloggers filling in enough to maintain a faint pulse. Maybe fake Bono again? File this bit of boring insider news under who gives a rip or visit Valleywag for more of the same. It's all fake anyway.

Gizmodo, Ars Technica WWDC Party Draws 3 Geeks For Every Geek

One of the rare times a testicle festival is justifiable is either at a bachelor party, a coming-out party or during the glorious gathering of techie geeks. The Gizmodo, Ars Technica rager at WWDC 2008 unanimously qualifies as the later. Add free drinks along with free branded schwag and you've built a powerful DIY geek magnet worthy of a Lifehacker post.

Our final count revealed the largest percentage of attendees were hairy man meat wearing glasses, courier bags or some kind of hat as the top three fashion accessories. A small group of geekettes swooped in on the gargantuan sausage party for unchallenged attention and gawking from the boys. As to be expected, the wildly popular geek goddess iJustine burst onto the scene like a cherry bomb. The internet Mac Chick allowed gazers to look but not touch her micro-celebrity. We could not confirm if iJustine charged for autographing man boobs. Tila Tequila failed to show up as originally rumored.

See all of the Exclusive Picts   Photos by Cirne

Too Thin Steve Jobs Confirmed Not Thinner Than iPhone 3G

It's conceivable for Steve Jobs to become so consumed with thinness that he starts emulating the very sleek designs he creates. We have now learned that El Jobso has not been stricken with classic Thinnovation obsession syndrome as some blogs speculated.

Reports of Jobs looking like skinny bones jones at the 2008 WWDC have been explained by an Apple spokeswoman as just a "common bug" assuring Mac faithful that he’s now on the mend with the aid of antibiotics.

We ran our own photo comparison test confirming that iPhone 3G is considerably thinner than Steve Jobs. Our calculations also confirmed if Apple's beloved CEO continues to shed pounds it's possible he could become thinner than MacBook Air by the Macworld Conference in 2009.

via Wall Street Journal

BUZZKILL ALERT! 3G iPhones Must Be Activated Inside Retail Stores

One small step for iPhone... one giant leap backwards for iPhone activation.

The President of AT&T's National Distribution, Glenn Lurie is reported to have confirmed there will be no in-home activation for iPhone 3G as once enjoyed with the original iPhone. As an alternative, all iPhone 3G faithful will be required to have their new handsets activated in either an Apple or AT&T store, a process that is expected to take 10-12 minutes. (Silence) That's unless of course you have hundreds of rabid cult of iPhone followers lined up outside in the heat willing to chew the head off of some squatter in front on them just to get inside. In the immortal words of Kaiser Chiefs, "I Predict A Riot. ... I predict a riot"

In round one Apple rewarded (boned) it's early adopters with a surprise price reduction after they spent their entire beer fund on a new iPhone. Now iPhoners get handed this little piece of good news which is the equivalent of getting gored in the ace by a neutered bull that believes you've hidden his nards in your pants pocket. Pwned!

If that's not quite enough pain, let's add a data plan price hike from AT&T for the length of your contract and no online purchases either. The low price of the newly improved iPhone 3G is starting to look very expensive from my view sitting atop the horns of this angry bull. Doh! Is this Apple's version of eating their young?

via Gizmodo    via AppleInsider

Apple Sings The White Boy Blues With iPhone 3G

It appears that it's really a Black and White world after all for Apple's new iPhone 3G. Along with the introduction of iPhone's plastic back, it's only a matter of time before we see the arrival of iPhone (RED). But let's get back to the subject of his royal whiteness.

Apple has given a nod of great magnitude to it's iPod lineage with the return of white boy in iPhone 3G or ol' whitey as we referred to him back on December 20th in a post entitled "The Great White Hope For iPhone In 2008". The iPhone Savior featured a mock-up of the svelte pale one complete with a photo of an old school fighter depicting the white boy iPhone's struggle for revival in 2008. Steve Jobs did not delay in answering the late night call from the cult of iPhone.

WWDC '08 Keynote Address & iPhone 3G TV Ad Now Posted Online

Steve Jobs' 2008 WWDC Keynote address seemed to have a few more exits and entrances by El Jobso than previous events. Did anyone notice that Steveo looked thinner than Macbook Air with a (post chemo) gauntness? With that said, the new iPhone applications look amazing and today marks only the start of the brilliance. Mobile Me appears promising but it's still in the early stages, offering Apple much to learn in this first attempt to reinvent dot Mac. Watch the entire WWDC presentation [here].

The new TV ad, "Hallway" is a slickly played high tech spot that's equal parts RoboCop meets 24. We see a metal case being transported down a dimly lit hallway in what looks like an underground bunker, carried by two standard issue operatives with the proper access keys. Look for Genius Bar logos glowing softly in the background of the lab when iPhone T-3 appears from it's lair, powering itself up like the pseudo artificial intelligence that it is. It's pure testosterone fueled tech-sex in progress. [here]

July 11th is way too long to wait for the iPhone 3G Terminator (T-3). "I'll be black." Who's with me?