Now that the initial shock of Apple's keynote has begun to fade, it's
painfully obvious that sending in Phil Schiller for the keynote address might
have had more to do with Apple's plan to present a wide variety of
ho-hum rather than Jobs' health, who typically wowed Apple faithful with true innovation in previous years. Raising expectations for many line
sitters outside of earth's atmosphere. Apple's final showing at
Macworld 2009 will be fondly remembered as a snorefest of dull product
announcements delivered by a clown car of colorless characters.
No matter how hard the rumor mill churned with pre MacWorld hype calling for fantastical product deliveries, Apple's final Macworld keynote produced little beyond an iFart. Fulfilling some analysts expectations, downgrading the Macworld Expo to "moderately boring" last week. Who knew their assertions would end up being spot on.
Expect the shaved apes in the tech media mainstream to start waxing on about what's next for Apple, holding out for a glimmer of hope that something better is coming very quickly. It's possible now that the satirical MacBook Wheel may actually turn out to be the hottest new shiny Apple product announced this week.
"Without a new Mac Mini or an iPhone nano to fondle, Macworld really blows for me," said Cam Hunter, a five time Macworld attendee, "Apple could have sent in Katie Cotton to present iLife and iWork 09 for all it mattered. At least she's a whole lot easier on the eyes than ole "buzz kill" Phil."
Adding comedy to this tragedy was sassy
ego blogger iJustine, who took it upon herself to conduct a farcical 2:00
minute pre-keynote interview at Macworld with a flattened Steve Jobs. A non talking-head that
offered no comments regardless of how persistent iJustine was in trying
to gain one valid response from the paper version of Apple's CEO.
"Steve, So what can we expect at Macworld this year," iJustine asked the flattened Jobs. Nothing followed!
Jobs' silence may have been a truer tell than "iJ" initially intended. If Jobs had candidly answered iJustine, we might have all been spared from enduring a near death keynote experience. Only to learn that a Mac Mini refresh, iPhone nano, Snow Leopard preview or refreshed iMac would not be making a grand Macworld appearance along with El Jobso himself.
Macworld Expo attendee Sergio Miranda, holding an epic sign created by Backblaze (top), perfectly summed up what I could not help thinking myself after enduring such a painful Apple keynote, "Bring Steve Jobs Back". Yep! That says it all! And bring back a removable battery for that ultra thin, lightweight 17" MacBook Pro too while you're at it Steveo.
But whatever you do, don't send in the clowns. They're already here!
[top photo by Vanessa Nunes ] [bottom photo by iJustine ]
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