iPhone Savior

Mac Daddy Cufflinks, Epic Pimpware For Geeks

STYLE GUIDE: These handmade Mac Daddy cufflinks add the perfect amount of epic geekware flair for that night on the town. It's an ideal way say "I'm a Mac" without having to recite your obnoxiously long list of Apple hardware while sipping on an Appletini. The early happy Mac design confirms you're not afraid to endorse the old school that has made Apple what it is today. An idea that would get you mad love from Steve Jobs himself.

This one of a kind Mac fashion accessory is made from shrink plastic and silver-tone hardware measuring 3/4" x 1/2" in size. While it would be much cooler if these were carved out of the housing of a classic Mac, they're still the kind of pimpware for the modern geek certain to get you noticed.  Expect to pay $18.00 plus a small shipping fee via PixelParty on Etsy.com. Mac-tastic baby!

Jesus Joins Twitter and He Uses An iPhone

My Saturday night was otherwise uneventful until I received an email from Twitter that had me tripping hard. "Hi, (iPhoneSavior). Jesus (iphoneJesus) is now following your updates on Twitter." the email said.

That's quite a shocker having been the iPhone Savior myself for just short of two years. Now this guy shows up! Once Oprah elbowed her way in, I guess seeing Jesus on Twitter was inevitable.

It turns out that my own personal iPhone Jesus, now a devout follower of mine, joined Twitter just a day earlier on April 24. His Bio is simple, it reads; "I'm Jesus. I use an iPhone. It's pretty cool." He must have enjoyed the whole "Jesus Phone" thing.

iPhone Jesus is already following over 1,400 people including the likes of Jimmy Fallon, Alyssa Milano, Lily Allen and The Office on NBC. The wild thing is that Jesus has some 850 Twitter faithful following him in less than a day. I've been on Twitter a month and I have only 115 followers.

One of my favorite tweets from Jesus is this one; "Today, I was sitting in heaven, really craving a smoothie. So... if anyone says they saw Jesus at the Smoothie Factory...they were right."

And his most recent tweet, a response to one user creeped out by Jesus following him, "I'm kind of scared that he's following me..." Theang said, to which iPhone Jesus responded;

"Don't be scared, my child, I will only bless you and keep you safe. And retweet your interesting links."

This proves it... you never know when or where Jesus will show up. How will you respond when iPhone Jesus starts following you? "Block" is always an option. This would be a perfect place to say; "follow me", but I won't!

iPhone Jesus on The Web

"Ow My Balls" App Gets Nutted On Launch

The wildly outrageous "Ow My Balls!" iPhone game that serves up "top shelf kicked-in-the-crotch humor" suffered a severe, self-inflicted nutting of its own shortly after it launched into the App Store earlier this week. The result of crashing bugs caused developer Josh Michaels, to quickly yank the app down for emergency fixes. Michaels highlights his failure to launch in a fantastical post entitled "Fixing My Balls".

"Today was a difficult day for My Balls. Late last night we released the game to the app store. Shortly after we released it we started getting reports from friends of crashing bugs that we had not encountered." Michaels explained in his post.

The irony of this tragic Ow My Balls! tale is an authentic ball breaker too delicious to resist. Several popular websites quick to grab a hold of "My Balls", posted favorable reviews with useless links, giving the shaft to frustrated readers like myself anxious to play the game. An unfortunate twist that left hundreds of potential buyers painfully ball-less. Ow My Balls! is currently awaiting its triumphant return to the App store once Apple approves the fixes.

"Sorry for the delay," Michaels wrote, "But we just can’t allow broken balls to ship."

Yep! That sounds painful.

[Buy Ow My Balls! Now]

Three 'Shaker' iPhone Apps That Still Remain

 

If you're pining over the sudden demise of the now infamous 'Baby Shaker' iPhone app, a game centered around killing off annoying babies with a vigorous shaking, all hope is not lost. Three key 'shaker' apps also approved by Apple still remain alive and well in the App Store and ready for download.

Though these three contenders still qualify as tacky on several levels, they're not as painfully distasteful as the now banished baby killer app that Apple publicly apologized for on April 23rd. The same day that Apple surpassed one billion apps downloaded from their wildly popular App Store.

Fart Shaker ($.99) is an app that does exactly what it promises, delivering 45 realistic sounding farts with each epic shake. Non stop fart looping is available on command along with fart tapping if shaking your device makes you paranoid of causing iPhone brain damage.

Bible Shaker ($.99) is billed as being "the quickest and easiest way to get Biblical passages". It's as simple as choosing a category then 'shaking' out a scripture instantly. I can't think of a more entertaining way to enjoy the Bible one shake at a time. For those who still use a traditional biblical unit and may get annoyed when turning those wafer thin pages, remember; never, ever shake a Bible.

Salt Shaker (free) is the final iPhone app submitted for your disapproval. This little polished turd is free for obvious reasons. Unlike pouring real salt all over your daily slop, this harmless app will not kill anyone. The developer promises, "If you love salt, you'll love salt shaker." I would be willing to argue that bogus claim in court. See how long you can endure this app before you run head on into traffic in total denial that it actually exists.

While this unique trio of shaker apps deserve to be counted amongst Apple's one billion downloaded, they will be celebrating, but standing furthest away from the party in the big house. I suggest you download all of these shakemeisters only because they're a vast improvement over killing babies as a timed sport. What part of shaking babies for fun seemed like a great idea for an app in the first place?

Sketchy "Baby Shaker" iPhone App Yanked From App Store

Just days before Apple is gearing up to celebrate hitting an epic milestone of one billion App Store downloads, controversy has taken the lion's share of headlines surrounding a new app that encourages quieting annoying, crying babies depicted in charming drawings, by shaking them until silenced. The now immensely controversial $.99 "Baby Shaker" iPhone app was been abruptly pulled down from being sold by Apple in the App Store after strong objections were raised by the Sarah Jain Brain Project, a group working to prevent pediatric traumatic brain injury.

"The group called for the removal of the application from the store and demanded an apology from the company." according to a report by The New York Times.

The Baby Shaker app released on Monday, was initially uncovered by the snarky geniuses over at "Krapps" who typically lampoon iPhone apps that represent tragic comedies. On Wednesday the website ran a post entitled, "It's Not Funny Apple", apologizing in advance for their non-typical post protesting the app for obvious reasons. The story broke at 1:00 AM PST on April 22nd.

Bringing Sexy Back With Fluorescent iPhone Cases

STYLE GUIDE: Last month we introduced you to the classic mix-and-match iPhone slider combo by Incase. The copper and fluorescent green duo (below) unleashed instant iDrool for many cult of iPhone fanatics once seen featured next to the matching Nike Air Max. Fluorescent "Fluro" Slider Cases are finally available as the latest additions to the Incase collection of iPhone fashion. Launched just in time for bringing retro sexy back to your summer.

These lightweight, 1980's neon throwbacks are constructed of durable, hardshell plastic and offered in three epic shades, Pink, Orange and Green. The interior rubber guardrails provide ample shock absorption along with must-have impact and scratch protection. Expect to pay $34.95 for each case. Double that price if you plan on creating your own original mix-and-match style.

 

[Incase Fluro - Incase Metallic]

AT&T Planning To Double 3G Capacity

AT&T is working to double the capacity of its 3G network, effectively boosting  bandwidth through software enhancements before it begins a full migration over to downlink speeds of 21 Mbps. The current 3G downlink capacity on its high-speed packet access (HSPA) is 3.6 megabits per second with an expected boost to 7.2 Mbps ahead of the release of Apple's next-gen iPhone. Many cult of iPhone faithful would argue that they're far from experiencing the claimed 3.6 Mbps speeds in some metropolitan cities.

"AT&T is increasing the downlink capacity on its high-speed packet access (HSPA) from 3.6 megabits per second to 7.2 Mb/s through software upgrades at the base station," said Scott McElroy, AT&T Mobility vice president of technology realization "AT&T currently has the enhanced networks running in two test markets but plans to extend those capabilities to its entire network." Source: Teleyhony Online

Reports indicate that AT&T plans to start migrating its 3G networks to evolved-HSPA (or HSPA+), which would triple peak speeds to 21 Mbps, an upgrade the company is planning for later this year. AT&T's next  evolution is expected to be the 4G LTE network aimed at 2011.

"AT&T isn't just adding capacity through upgrades; it's also adding HSPA carriers at many cellsites. "It's being done on a market-by-market basis," McElroy said. "We're adding second and even third carriers according to demand."

Still Hoping For An iPhone With Verizon Wireless?

Verizon's Chief Executive Ivan Seidenberg, smashed any hope for a Verizon Wireless iPhone launching in the immediate future according to an interview with the Wall Street Journal on Thursday. Seidenberg was optimistic that Apple would be willing to consider working with the carrier once they've launched a 4G, network, closely following the same 4G technology standard that AT&T Inc.' is planning. Neither company expects to have any significant fourth-generation networks in place until 2010.

"Apple never seriously considered making a CDMA version of the iPhone because it didn't have as wide a distribution opportunity." Seidenberg told the WSJ.

Meanwhile AT&T is busy trying to re-up their iPhone exclusive with Apple through the end of 2011. AT&T's current agreement holds iPhone in place through 2010. While it's possible that Apple might consider inviting T-Mobile USA to the iPhone party, AT&T is currently the only major US carrier with 3G using the HSPA standard on the 850MHz band. Not that anyone is too impressed.

AT&T's 3G service has proved to be a disappointment for many cult of iPhone faithful expecting much grater connectivity than Edge offered. That's just not been the case in many areas of the US. I'm all for options with my wireless service. Apple needs to offer more than just the current AT&T iPhone hostage program. Been there, done that... sold the tee shirt on Ebay.

iPhone OS 3.0 Beta 3 Breaks Skype Over 3G

An email went out to developers late afternoon on Tuesday announcing that iPhone OS 3.0 beta 3 and iPhone SDK 3.0 beta 3 are posted and available for download. Apple continued to encourage testing of applications with the Apple Push Notification service. This third beta of iPhone OS 3.0 arrived only two weeks after the second beta.

One user has already reported changes to Skype in beta 3. "I just noticed that skype no longer works on 3G with this beta. It seems that one of Apple's main goals was to fix the 3G loophole in skype with this beta release. I don't think it's a coincidence that skype released their update almost the exact time Apple released beta 3." JavaGuru wrote in MacRumors Forum. That claim has been confirmed by 9 to 5 Mac.

Hints of speed optimizations during keyboard input are being reported early on by some along with copy and paste being much easier to navigate. "The copy and paste dialogue box is now easier to navigate with a much improved interface to allow you to see what you are selecting. AeroUK wrote in MacRumors Forum.

A Skype update was released on Tuesday, version 1.0.2 listing a few improvements and key bug fixes. Some iPhone faithful are claiming Skype calls over 3G on the iPhone 3.0 beta was simply a bug that the third beta has now fixed. That's some fine comedy!

Thanks to Joseph C. for the tip

F-MyLife Brings Tragic Comedy To iPhone

If you've not yet found yourself pissing away valuable hours reading the comic tragedies found on the wildly popular website FMyLife, here's your big chance. Since there's really no way to put a price on sharing your F**ked stories with the entire planet, the developers of the FML iPhone app chose to offer this epic bit of pop culture for free. I love FML for iPhone more than I love my weather app.

The idea behind FML is painfully brilliant, log in and share your personal stories about how your life has been F**ked. The website is an addictive collection of "everyday anecdotes and stories likely to happen to anyone and everyone" Your traumas will be voted on and even commented on with great disdain by the community. With F-MyLife the bad news is the good news.

"Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to." FML

This is your chance to dial into the FML franchise on your iPhone before their first book is published by Random House. Dive in now and start sharing your own polished turds. The FML iPhone app is a bit dumbed down at present compared to the website, but developers promise that future versions will allow all the horrific interaction users have become accustomed to. I can hardly wait!

Get F-MyLife