A satirical "Apple memo" that swept across the desk of the infamous Fake Steve Jobs on Monday, is calling for an all out iPhone attack on AT&T's network on Friday, December 18th at noon Pacific time. The idea of a hostile digital flashmob would set a landmark precedent in iPhone warfare.
The goal of "Operation Chokehold" is to have every iPhone user fire up their huge data hogging apps starting at 12:00 noon and run the app for an entire hour. The all out virtual revolt against AT&T is designed to send the number-two wireless carrier a clear message that users are tired of what the memo refers to as a "substandard network".
The potential uprising centers around recent veiled threats by AT&T in the news, reporting that the company is planning "some form of usage-based pricing." for iPhone users who jam the airwaves by watching video on their devices according to Yahoo Finance. AT&T CEO Ralph de la Vega, informed investors about the uneducated iPhone data hogs at a UBS conference in New York last week.
"We need to educate the customer ... We've got to get them to understand what represents a megabyte of data," de la Vega said. Source: Yahoo Finance
Although AT&T did not specify exactly how or when the carrier would revise its data usage policies, de la Vega made it clear that some kind of usage-based pricing for data would be inevitable.
The rapidly growing iPhone flashmob is already being called the biggest cultural event since the invention of "The Snuggie". The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs is experiencing frequent crashes due to the massive volume of iPhone users adding their support to his digital battle cry.
"iPhone fanatics are desperate to rally around a good cause even if it is a hoax," said longtime Machead Elam Nikserof, "We all know how badly AT&T service can suck here in the Bay Area. Hell, they even released an app for that," Nikserof joked referring to AT&T's "Mark the Spot" app.
"I'll be joining that flashmob on Friday for sure. Then I'll head over to a matinee showing of Avatar to watch these blue forest dudes who listen to Pandora fight Marines."
iPhone owners are being asked to chime in on the best applications to use for data hogging on Friday when Operation Chokehold swings into full effect. Currently the free, yet poorly rated Ustream app tops the list right behind viewing videos using Apple's native YouTube app. Daily downloads of Ustream and other data intensive apps are expected to quadruple over the next few days. We'll have more on this farcical story as it develops.
[via The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs] [Epic photo by Sean Marc Lee]
AT&T service does suck. I will drop them in a heartbeat if they try to charge me for data per usage or if the iPhone goes to Verizon.
Posted by: Bryan | December 16, 2009 at 09:53 AM
Which application do you think is probably the most BANDWIDTH hogging app??? So I can make sure I have it installed... and use it to Flash Mob the network.
Posted by: Larr | December 16, 2009 at 09:00 AM