iPhone Savior

David Letterman: Lost iPhone Prototype Top Ten

Here is the Late Show video featuring the "Top Ten Excuses of the Guy Who Lost the iPhone Prototype". Even though David Letterman claims he could care less about the guy who lost Apple's next-generation iPhone prototype, he certainly cares enough to roast mister "oopsy daisy" in his wildly popular Top Ten segment.

• 10. "Couldn't call Apple for help because I lost my iPhone."
• 9. "I'm more of a Kindle guy."
• 8. "You mean besides being drunk out of my mind?"
• 7. "Distraught Kate Gosselin kicked off Dancing with the Stars"
• 6. "Thought there was an app that would whisk it back to my house."
• 5. "It must have fallen out of my iPants."
• 4. "Volcanic Ash! Run!"
• 3. "Let's Just Blame Goldman Sachs."
• 2. "At least I didn't lose my finger like that iPad guy."
• 1. "It didn't work anyway—it uses AT&T."

[Late Show with David Letterman]

Steve Jobs Personally Monitors Apple's Pre-Release Gadgets

 

In recent years, Apple, Inc., has expanded its elite circle of staffers allowed to carry unreleased gadgets outside the company's campus. That policy is most likely about to change dramatically following the grand buffoonery that led to a next-generation iPhone prototype being left behind in a Redwood City pub. The lost device was quickly unveiled to the world after being purchased for $5,000 by tech site Gizmodo.com.

"Apple Chief Executive Officer Steve Jobs personally monitors the so-called carry list of staff members allowed to take pre-release devices off the company’s campus, according to a former employee of Apple. Approved staff members must sign an additional confidentiality agreement, the person said." - Bloomberg

According to Bloomberg, Steve Jobs does not personally approve who gets to manhandle Apple's unreleased gadgets, but he does take a healthy interest in the security of products by eyeballing the official 'carry list'.

Recent events are certain to cause a ripple effect for those on Apple's prized gadget short list. Future pre-release devices could come under the same kind of quarantined security required of software developers working with the iPad. I'll bet El Jobso keeps the that carry list in "Notes" on his iPhone prototype.

[Bloomberg]  [Image by Eric Wills]

iPhone Dock Lets You Make Calls Like It's 1937

STYLE GUIDE: I'm not exactly sure why I'd want to tether my epic mobile handset to a retro phone base, but Freelandstudios has created just such a monster to make iPhone calling feel like an ancient chore.

This cleverly handmade "iRetrofone" dock, borrows inspiration from the prolific industrial designer Henry Dreyfuss who created the iconic type 302 phone back in 1937. The modern recasting is sculpted one at a time from resin with the proper notch provided for your iPhone dock cable.

The base is designed to be compatible with all iPhones and retro handset works for calls. Now just add the iRetroPhone Rotary Dialer app ($.99) into the mix (like we did) and you'll instantly dazzle friends with this authentic piece of modern art for the antique soul.

Expect to pay $195 for your iPhone base dock, offered in black, clear or pink resin. Tonight I'm gonna party like it's 1937.

[Freelandstudios]  [iRetrofone Steampunk]

Gizmodo Ruins New iPhone Launch for Everybody

The moment Gawker Media decided to pay a $5,000 ransom for Apple's kidnapped iPhone prototype to feature on Gizmodo.com, the summer blockbuster event that redefined the joy of summer since 2007 was instantly soiled for an entire planet of Apple faithful.

The element of surprise and childlike anticipation surrounding Apple's revolutionary iPhone launch has been stripped from our collective imaginations in a way that's certain to lower the bar for the entire gaggle of Apple news blogs that count on unconfirmed rumors and hyped-up maybes to keep our own brand of self-absorbed, happy horseshit worth smelling for another thankless year of willful poverty.

Uncovering real facts, along with serving up well produced photos and videos of the new iPhone instantly kills speculation and brings the churning rumor mill to a halt. So thanks for that Gizmodo.

Super Secret iPhone Found In German Pub

On Thursday March 18th, Apple's super secret 4G iPhone fell into to the hands of a still unnamed pub troll who happened upon the device after Gray Powell, a 27-year-old Apple Software Engineer left it behind at The Gourmet Haus Staudt in Redwood City, while celebrating his birthday.

This fantastical story of grand buffoonery was revealed in detail by Gizmodo.com about one week after parent company Gawker Media paid a sum of $5,000 to the pub troll who rescued the next-generation iPhone abandoned on a bar stool by Powell at the German beer garden before heading home for the night.

"I underestimated how good German beer is," Gray Powell posted to Facebook using his next-generation iPhone which was cleverly disguised as an iPhone 3GS. It was the last message sent from the device before the entire shiteree began.

Apple failed to make an official statement about its mislaid iPhone 4, instead the company issued an official letter through their General Counsel Bruce Sewell on Monday, asking that the super secret device be returned by Gizmodo. The letter confirmed that the find was genuine.

The now infamous next-generation iPhone was sent back to Apple, but not before Gizmodo displayed the guts of the handset by conducting a gruesome public dissection. Making it one of the most horrific tales of kidnapping and ransom involving a wildly popular gadget in modern history.

Mini Shoebox Apple Store Opens for Business

The first ever miniature shoebox Apple store opened for business this past weekend with throngs of imaginary onlookers lined up to get a first-look inside when the the doors swung open. The store's design created by Gary Katz, is another bit of magical brilliance that even includes a Mini Cooper passing by outside as seen in the grand opening video below.

Two iPhone's were used in the making of this epic mini masterpiece, one at the back of the store playing an iPad advert and one used to light the Apple logo sign on the storefront.

The attention to detail given to the in-store signage, iMacs and even the Genius Bar is amazing to behold. The Shoebox Apple store is the third creation for Mr. Katz who also brought us the personal Shoebox Theater and iPhone Drive-In. Do-it-yourself kits are available at Personal Movie Theater.com

June Vacations Blocked for AT&T Staffers To Launch New iPhone

It's that time of year again when AT&T prohibits staffers from taking vacations in June in order for the company to support the launch of the newest iPhone summer blockbuster.

It's been reported that multiple AT&T sources have confirmed the vacation block, also enforced by the company for the past two iPhone launches. A June vacation lockdown means that we may not have to wait until July.

Little has been leaked about Apple's next-generation handset other than some key functionality like multitasking, in-app MMS and a Game Center expected with iPhone OS 4. Rumors of the 4G handset hint once again at a front facing camera for iChat.

Behold! The new iPhone cometh.

[iPhone 4G concept rendering by Anthony De Rosa]

TV Hat For iPhone Is The Future of Movie Watching Humiliation

 

STYLE GUIDE: After witnessing the failed launch of "Laptop Burka", the first ever geek sheet for outdoor laptop viewing, I knew that the parade of grand buffoonery would not be far behind.

The newest contender to the designer walk of shame is called TV Hat. Simply slide your iPhone into the rear pouch of this brilliantly crafted ass hat for nerds and the attached 2.5x magnification screen will deliver a virtual movie theater experience that those around you will never forget.

It's a perfect way to discreetly view your iPhone porn conveniently hands-free. I actually eyeballed a business man using this crown of dorks on my flight down to San Diego.

The makers of TV Hat suggest using their personal theater at the beach, on planes, while camping or even at home in bed sitting next to your imaginary wife.

The future of iPhone movie watching has arrived just in time for summer. Expect to pay $19.95 for your very own TV Hat along with a guarantee of public humiliation with each use. I like to think of it as practical iPhone geekwear for the modern lonely guy.

It's absolutely fabulous.

Justin Bieber Takes Over Tap Tap Revenge

Teen idol Justin Bieber, recently joined pop royalty Kings of Leon, Coldplay, the Black Eyed Peas, Metallica and Lady Gaga as the newest member of the Tap Tap Revenge franchise for iPhone.

Justin Bieber Revenge ($4.99) is already being heralded by long time Tap Tap Revenge faithful as "amazing" and way better than most had expected it to be. The app is loaded with 11 Justin Bieber tracks including his top ten hit single "Baby", featuring rapper Ludacris.

The app offers multiple ways to battle friends with turn-based challenges and the ability to experience live peer-to-peer action via Bluetooth. True fans already know that Justin Bieber is a confirmed iPhone fanatic, which makes the chances of catching Justin in the app's Chat Rooms even more tantalizing for the Bieber obsessed.

“It’s exciting to be able to give my fans a brand new way to experience and interact with my music. I’m playing it on my phone right now actually. Anyone want to play?” – Justin Bieber

Justin Bieber's recent debut appearance on SNL (Saturday Night Live) with Tina Fey (below), is expected to be only the first high profile TV spotlight for the wildly popular post-puberty singer.

News is beginning to circulate that a TV pilot entitled "Leave It To Bieber", is currently being shopped to the networks showcasing Justin playing himself as a reluctant pop star living in the burbs in a "Hannah Montana" style sitcom. Both Disney and Viacom are rumored to be in a bidding war for the first shot at producing a show starring "The Bieb".

"I hate Justin Bieber, but I just can't put this app down," said committed iPhone gamer Elam Nikserof, "It's totally addicting and that song 'Baby' is stuck in my head like gooey brain taffy. Tapulous nailed it with this one."

Sign Up Your iPhone Contract Free With AT&T

Do you have an unused iPhone laying around? Most people don't realize, that if you already own an iPhone handset, signing up for service with AT&T is offered contract free.

Although this policy has been in place for almost a year, most iPhone users have no clue that adding a family member to their existing plan or starting a new plan is simple and painless.

I recently added wifey to my family plan using my old iPhone 3G for an additional $10 a month plus $30 for unlimited data (with a $36 activation fee).

Walk into any AT&T store with an iPhone in hand and you can expect to pay $39.95 for a base service plan of 450 minutes a month plus $30 for unlimited data. All contract free.

Apple is selling new iPhone 3G models starting at $499 or a 3GS for $599 16GB and $699 for a 32GB model without a contract. I've seen used 3G iPhones sold on Ebay for as little as $203 plus shipping.

Purchasing a new iPhone 3G from Apple or AT&T at the discounted price of $99 or $199 for a 3GS is what requires initiating a two year contract, because AT&T picks up a bulk of the cost for the device.

This news should be enough motivation for anyone to start badgering friends and family members to give up their old iPhone 3G devices that are collecting dust. You can always cut a great deal on a 3GS model when everyone upgrades to the next-generation iPhone coming sometime in June.

A hand-me-down iPhone makes a pretty sweet gift when you can enjoy it contract free.