On Thursday March 18th, Apple's super secret 4G iPhone fell into to the hands of a still unnamed pub troll who happened upon the device after Gray Powell, a 27-year-old Apple Software Engineer left it behind at The Gourmet Haus Staudt in Redwood City, while celebrating his birthday.
This fantastical story of grand buffoonery was revealed in detail by Gizmodo.com about one week after parent company Gawker Media paid a sum of $5,000 to the pub troll who rescued the next-generation iPhone abandoned on a bar stool by Powell at the German beer garden before heading home for the night.
"I underestimated how good German beer is," Gray Powell posted to Facebook using his
next-generation iPhone which was cleverly disguised
as an iPhone 3GS. It was the last message sent from the device before the entire shiteree began.
Apple failed to make an official statement about its mislaid iPhone 4, instead the company issued an official letter through their General Counsel Bruce Sewell on Monday, asking that the super secret device be returned by Gizmodo. The letter confirmed that the find was genuine.
The now infamous next-generation iPhone was sent back to Apple, but not before Gizmodo displayed the guts of the handset by conducting a gruesome public dissection. Making it one of the most horrific tales of kidnapping and ransom involving a wildly popular gadget in modern history.
Here's what's new according to Gizmodo
• Front-facing video chat camera
• Improved regular back-camera (the lens is noticeably larger than
the iPhone 3GS)
• Camera flash
• Micro-SIM on the side instead of standard SIM (like the iPad)
• Improved display with much higher resolution than on a 3GS.
• A secondary mic for noise cancellation, at the top,
next to the headphone jack
• Split buttons for adjusting volume
• Power, mute, and volume buttons are all metallic
Although the circumstances surrounding Gizmodo's "leak for hire" story appear sketchy on the surface, it's all fair game in the wild wild
west of independent tech news reporting. No standards, no
accountability and no experience required. So why ask why?
Even if it's uncertain how many physical features uncovered on the next iPhone will actually be included once Apple launches the device sometime in June, it doesn't change the fact that some unscrupulous wonder-turd knew full well that there was a boatload of fast cash to be made by soliciting Apple's property to like-minded friends in low places.
Apple's highly anticipated blockbuster event which has redefined the joy of summer since 2007, will forever be remembered as the most dramatic iPhone unveiling in its three year history.
It may quite possibly be the biggest iPhone story to surface since Geoff Evila, purchased his 2G device after miraculously recovering from a four-month coma back in October of 2007. The epic iPhone legacy never fails to disappoint.
These kind of things are always going to happen unfortunately.
Posted by: Quick Loans | October 12, 2010 at 07:24 AM
The most annoying about Gizmodo's unveiling of Apple next iPhone is not the news or the device itself, but Jason Chen's head.
Does he even realized that he has a fugly (fuckin ugly) face?!?
Gizmodo should've hired a handsome or pretty female model to do the job, not some kind of a smug blog editor with a fugly face..
PS: thank goodness I'm not the only one to think of this..
Posted by: Antwoine | April 21, 2010 at 11:09 PM
Jason Chen's head looks like it should be wearing ropes as a balloon in the Macy's Parade. Next to that iPhone it looks massive and quite bulbous.
Posted by: JAllen | April 21, 2010 at 07:43 PM
You do know the Geoff Evila story was fake, right?
Posted by: Ttowngeek | April 21, 2010 at 11:48 AM